Weeks 13-17

Current weight 310lbs. Well as many have probably surmised by my silence, I've not had very good news to report and so I've not reported anything. I suppose maintaining the weight I've lost till now is a positive thing, but I'm afraid with the exception of not eating fast food, I've had plenty of instances of emotional eating and overeating. I've also done a good bit of exercise and thanks to my wife have been eating more vegetables. I just finished re-reading all of my previous posts and am energized to refocus my efforts again on my relationship with food, or rather improving that relationship, and becoming a fit person. 

My mind is still very much pondering on the thoughts of my previous post and has been for a few weeks now. I've been struck of late by the purpose of this earth life. We hear in Sunday school from a very young age that we come to earth to get a body and to be tested. Indeed Abraham says: 

3:25 And we will ^aprove them herewith, to see if they will ^bdo all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them;

The operative word in this case is of course 'do'. What has struck me about myself of late though is how easily I will tell myself that I 'will do' something, but then do not do it. I do this to the point that telling myself I can or will do something soothes my conscience and becomes the excuse or justification for not acting, and not accomplishing. I imagine much the same problem with our existence in the pre-existence. We had to come to this earth because it is so easy to say, or think we can do something. It is quite another matter to actually do it. 

The day in day out work, discipline, and sacrifice tests our resolution and desire, and it becomes so easy at that point to soothe ourselves with the thought 'oh well I can choose to continue my efforts, I have that ability, so that is enough, and I'm just going to choose to eat this double chocolate brownie. I know I can choose not to eat it if I want, and the fact that I know that is enough. Heck I chose not to eat it yesterday, and the day before so I know I can, and that's enough.' Well it is not enough, it never has been. The purpose of this life is not to 'believe' we can do something, but to do. 

Heather and I have both noted recently at our annoyance that despite how thoroughly we clean the kitchen or the bathroom, or the family room etc, that the darn things just don't stay clean. Inevitably the next meal comes, the kids come, etc. and it all has to be done again...several times a day...7 days a week, 365 days a year. Unfortunately becoming fit presents the same problem. Can you imagine what would happen if 'I said well I cleaned the kitchen yesterday 3 times, and the day before 3 times. I KNOW I could clean it again today, if I wanted to so that's enough. One day of that? Messy, but cleanable. Two days, harder to clean, no clean dishes. Three days? No clean dishes must order pizza. Four days? Rotting food, and a horrible smell. A week or two? Here comes the rats and CPS to take your children away. A much belabored point I grant you but to see the effects of this attitude as it pertains to health is a simple look in the mirror for me. 

We all have things that we do well; areas of our lives in which we excel at doing. I think we also all have areas where, for what ever reason, we just do not act in, areas where we excuse ourselves somehow from our responsibility to act. Whether good excuses or poor excuses we absolve ourselves of our responsibility. Do I have a good excuse to skip exercise because I'm up with my new born infant a couple times a night? Yeah, that's a great excuse, but that doesn't change the fact that I have not 'done', I did not do, I did not act. 

 I don't think not acting in that situation is necessarily a problem unless the excuses begin to pile up, excuse good, or bad, after excuse, month after month, year after year. It is so easy for me to say, 'oh well when my son is sleeping through the night then, then I'll do it, then I'll exercise.' Reasonable? Yes unless you've been making excuses good and bad for years. With that pattern one more excuse is not one more excuse, one more excuse equals resignation that the pattern of not doing, for whatever reason, will continue. 

As reasonable as it may sound for me to use the excuse of low sleep for not exercising, a man who is trying to do, trying to accomplish something would recognize that he still could have been eating well. Did it all have to go out the window because of one 'good' excuse? Yes it is true that with low sleep the stress hormone Cortisol increases which makes you want to eat more. Is that a reasonable excuse? Sure! 10 years later you're still fat and out of shape. 

What an ingenious plan for the growth and development of Gods children is this Earth life. We are here to become doers. Doers of all things whatsoever the Lord God commands us. Believing, and envisioning that we can do is a necessary and important first step, but it cannot replace the real thing. If it could we could all have stayed in the pre-existence, and continued our eternal progression to be more like our Father. This life, is all about doing. I personally must be careful that saying I 'will do' something, or that I 'can do' something does not become anymore an excuse for not doing something.